STUDY // Study Abroad: 2 Months In

Hello there!
Yes, that's right. I have been here for two months now - TWO MONTHS.
It has been two months since I have seen my family. It has been two months since I have seen most of my friends back home. It has been two months since I last saw my cat. If I was in the UK, I'd have visited home at least 3 times by now - crazy. Do you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm STILL not feeling homesick and I'm super duper surprised.

Don't get me wrong, I do really, really miss everyone back home. I miss being able to text them randomly during the day and get an instant response. I miss just phoning someone up for a chat. Now I have to Facebook them and say 'SKYPE SESH THIS TIME OKAY' and it just gets rid of the spontaneity a little bit.

Excitingly I am coming home for Christmas! I really want to do some travelling but I just need to get out of Van - can you believe that?! Don't worry - I'll explain later.

Anyway....time for an update!

Like I said in my last post, I have had so much work to do. I had 8 assessments all going towards my grade due in within 7 days including 3 mid-terms. Oh, and these grades go towards my degree! I keep seeing my friends going out clubbing and travelling and I just don't have the time. Whenever I do manage to get a break, everyone else has lots of work to do and it makes it super tricky to plan anything. That means I have done literally nothing. I have been Downtown, I have been to Stanley Park....that's pretty much it! All of my friends are going to Seattle and Portland this weekend but with two problem sets and a lab report due - I just can't go. It absolutely kills me that people around me are getting to see such amazing things but unless I want to 100% fail this year I just cannot! Let's hope people want to repeat trips when it comes to the summer eh?!

October was a bad month. My Macbook broke (and cost me 2 days of work and $300 to fix!). I had too many deadlines. My friends were off out everywhere and I was stuck in with work. I had a mental breakdown in a lecturer's office. I seriously failed a mid-term. I didn't give in my first piece of work (it was semi-optional - it's fine). I got ripped off on Halloween and to top it all off my purse got stolen and I lost my ID and two bank cards (fortunately I only lost the cash in my purse but I now have to take my passport everywhere with me - not good!)

I'm not going to lie - it feels like such a mistake doing a year abroad. I hate to say it but I question every single day why I did it. I'm not having all the fun everyone said I would. Instead I'm sitting in my room, hitting my head on my notebook praying that the information seeps into my brain rather than killing brain cells. It's just infuriating.

There have been some brilliant times - it just feels like they are far and few in-between. I'm with some lovely people who really do make me happy (when they don't blackmail me in order to get ice cream - I wanted waffles okay!). I have written chemistry themed Christmas songs, spent 20 minutes in Tim Hortons trying to remember all of the amino acids for 'fun', had random nights in with a 'home cooked' rotisserie chicken, spent hours in my room with my house mates watching hilarious Youtube videos, borrowed a glittery skull and exclaimed to anyone who would listen that it was Yorick and that he was a fellow of infinite jest (and fabulousness).

I have had far too many coffees, promised far too many people Timbits, watched far too many episodes of Dance Academy, had my first Starbucks red cup, worn a skin tight, plunging neckline, thigh high split, green sparkly dress, been invited to a grad party (because I somehow have made lots of grad student friends). I have gotten myself into far too many embarrassing situations, called my life tragic and sworn that my life should be a sit com because you could NOT write my life (I say some really stupid things okay?)

At the end of the day, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger eventually. It just hurts like hell at the time. I'm looking back at what I was freaking out about a few weeks ago and now that looks like a walk in the park. It's crazy how much UBC has pushed me in just 8 weeks. I'd be almost finished if I was back home but I still have 6 weeks left. How on Earth will I survive?!

That's why I need to go home. It's not because I miss everyone back home (which I do and I want to see everyone so much!) but I just need to get away from the work! I can't feel like I can do anything here without feeling guilty for not doing work. I know I shouldn't feel like that but I cannot help it. I think I need a break from the high pressure of UBC and just have a couple of weeks where I can sit at home, cuddle my cat and watch awful Christmas movies (and have plenty of parties!).

I have only 4 lab sessions left, three finals, 4 problem sets, a presentation and I'm done. It's so crazy! I have done so much and so little and I just feel like I'm in this constant feeling of not quite knowing where I am. I feel like I'm at home though. I really do love Vancouver. I don't know what it is, but I haven't felt this much at home in a long time.

Now excuse me, I'm going to go watch Pride and Prejudice and wish to find myself Mr. Darcy amongst the many, gorgeous Canadian guys that walk around campus. I handed in 7 assessments last week - I'm allowed a few days off right?